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Old 01-15-2010, 06:17 PM
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Look Activists go missing Very Funny

Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally#$%^&|#$%^&GlossyNews.com
Categorized | Society
Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally
Posted on January 07, 2010. Tags: activists, Animal Activists, blood, fur, motorcycle gangs, motorcycle rally, peta, protesters
Posted by Fuzzy Duffy
Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.
“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”
The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”
According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”
“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”
Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”
Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.
“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”
When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:25 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

LMAO! You have to know when to keep your mouth shut!
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:26 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

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Originally Posted by John_White View Post
LMAO! You have to know when to keep your mouth shut!
Especially if they are peeing on you O.o
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:29 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

Never show up uninvited at a gun fight, when you are only armed with harsh words.
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:31 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

Quote:
Originally Posted by John_White View Post
LMAO! You have to know when to keep your mouth shut!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BRITTani View Post
Especially if they are peeing on you O.o

Or farting on your head lol
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:35 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

I cannot say I do not empathize with the beliefs of the activists, but this is the most hysterical thing I think I may have ever heard (excluding the "peed on me" complaint. That's just messed up.)
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:45 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

We have them hostage here at the Laboratory Animal Facility.
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:50 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

I'm all for bringing awareness about suffering to animals. But DANG! Did these activists eat some stupid bread for breakfast that day?
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:57 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

Who else would have paid money to... you know, be there? And watch the whole thing?

I would.
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Old 01-15-2010, 07:00 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

It would be funnier if it were true.

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Old 01-15-2010, 07:01 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

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It would be funnier if it were true.
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Old 01-15-2010, 08:58 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

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RAIN ON MY PARADE!
In keeping with this story, that's NOT rain.
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Old 01-15-2010, 09:14 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

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Old 01-15-2010, 10:40 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

Fan-bloody-tastic. It would be great it WERE true!
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Old 01-22-2010, 05:01 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

Bummer, I really wish this were a true story. For that matter, it would be nice to handpick a group of Peta members weekly for this kind of treatment.
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Old 01-22-2010, 05:44 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

darn, I was really hoping this was true...
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:05 PM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

I can tell you it would not be that gentle and "college hazing" like if they through blood at a biker's vest or colors. We would be reading about activists floating in the rivers. I am glad it was just satire.
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Old 01-24-2010, 12:40 AM
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Re: Activists go missing Very Funny

Haha, "activists".
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