Has Anyone Ever Had This Problem

STEVE C · #1 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 03:39 AM

I Bought My First Bp Today And My Wife Went Absolutly Nuts!!!! I Have Been Telling Her I Was Getting One For About A Month. She Would Say No At First Then She Seemed Fine With It. When She Came Home From Work She Went Crazy. "i Can't Believe You Would Do This, You Know I Wouldn't Stay In The Same House As A Snake." There Were Alot More Things I Could Not Put On Here, Use Your Imagination. Though She Could Not Really Give Me An Reason She Was So Afraid. It Is In A Locked Cage In Another Room? Anyway She Went To Her Mother's House To Spend The Night? Not Sure What To Do Know? Well Thought I Would Rant Awhile, Thanks For Listening.

Sucuriju · #2 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 03:44 AM

yikes, sounds like your in a tough situation!
maybe shes just coolin her jets. maybe shes not as mad about the snake as she is about you doing it without telling her, "by the way, I am getting a snake today."

good luck, youre gonna need it

Shadrach · #3 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 03:48 AM

Hummmmmmmm?? Never had that happen? I always found it eaiser to get what I wanted and wait on her to forgive me than to let her think I had to have her permission.

rahzel4life · #4 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 03:49 AM

The exact same thing happened to me, the only difference was that i rescued my boa not bought it, so it was a little more of a surprise. when i brought it home my girlfriend wigged out and wouldnt be in the same room with it. after i had it out for a while and was playing with it she eased up and sat on the same couch with me. by the end of the night she touched it. it has been about 2 months now and she will come over just to hold him now. i think she has grown to like him more than i have. it will just take time, they are very lovable animals. i agree with BabyRedNewsDad, shes a woman, shes mad you made the move without her, its not so much the snake as it is you

rahzel4life · #5 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 03:50 AM

Shadrach is right, its easier to ask for forgiveness then it is for permission. i would just say ride it out and hopefully it gets better, and if not i will PM you my address to send me that snake! J/k

STEVE C · #6 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 03:59 AM

I May Need The Address, Lol. She Was Bit By A Garter When She Was 9. A Bad Memory That Has Expanded As The Years Have Gone By. I Hope She Calms Down A Little. My Six Year Old Loves It!! He Would Be More Heart Broken Than Me.

CruiserMaiden · #7 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 03:59 AM

Ouch! I'm guessing she probably was never fine with it - she was giving you the "Fine... do what you want to do" answer that us women are prone to, which if you are married you should probably learn really means "do it and die...". She is probably very angry you did it without getting her 100% approval on it. In the current situation, however you could try a few things, depending on her level of fear for snakes and her willingness to be reasonable.

First you could try asking her to be understanding because it is important to you. That said, try to get her to understand the snake rather than be afraid of it (I know we all face this with non-snake people but unfortunately you brought it home so you gotta fight this battle now). Possibly encourage her to learn about it or watch it while its safely locked in the cage?

If she wont learn to understand (and thus love it) perhaps you can get her to tolerate it. Try offering to put a physical lock on the cage (if this is possible in the situation) to put her more at rest regarding it getting out and "attacking" her. You could also try offering to only take the snake out when she isnt home (this would only be good until she can get used to it, as I don't see it being a very viable option long term and the little bugger WILL be around awhile). Don't try to hold it around her if she feels uncomfortable, and dont try to force her to pet it or hold it.

If you have kids, get the kids involved/interested. It's harder for Mom to say no when the kids are in love with it.

Other than that, not sure what to tell you. I know it sounds harsh but if it comes down to it, you might have to see about taking it back (assuming she is being completely unreasonable). Good luck, as said before, you're gonna need it!

STEVE C · #8 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 04:16 AM

Good Advice, I Think If I Can Get Through The First Few Days She Will Adjust. I Have Never Seen Anyone Act So Afraid. I Do Not Think I Can Take It Back. The Guy I Bought It From Was Selling It Because His Kid Quit Messing With It And It Became His Chore. I Want To Keep It Anyway. Wish Me Luck!!

rahzel4life · #9 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 04:26 AM

Good luck Steve, you are in my prayers tonight

boafiend · #10 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 04:29 AM

hehe i pretty much did the same thing with my mom, i told her i wanted a ball python and she wasnt that happy about the idea but then i came home with it one weekend and she was pretty mad! she just hated snakes with a passion and thought they where evil and slimy and all that other stuff lol but now she loves it and holds it without thinking twice, so good luck!!! i think you will be fine tho! my girlfriend did the same thing as my mom and now she has a ball python too lol

Heidi · #11 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 04:32 AM

I really think that given the chance your wife could love this snake more then you. It happens, I know from experience. Maybe I was just predetermined to love these little finicky buggers but I fell in love. Let her be mad and then give her time, appologize and beg. There is just this fear there. Remind her that even though it is a "wild animal" that it will get accustomed to handling and BP's are not known for their fierceness.

My love started when ours got mites and I had to take care of him. Not that my boyfriend at the time wouldn't (husband now) but he was working and I was in college. I had more time so I did it. I very quickly fell in love with him and the boa he had too. Now I'm the one begging for snakes. My kids also love them and are asking for one in their room. Even mommy says no to that one but I'm thrilled they are interested.

TheBoaGuy · #12 (**permalink**) 03-23-2006, 06:42 AM

not to be rude but it sounds like your wife has a little growing up to do. Ok so she didnt like the snake but why run away from your own house. seems like the old Im taking my ball and going home routine. It makes no sense to be so terrified of a ball python that is in another room in a locked cage. Sounds like you have a drama queen on your hands that just likes the attention.

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