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08-21-2010, 02:55 PM
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ms. anthropomorphist
   
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abbott and costello
You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Wil l it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know.. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............
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"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
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Coffee Succubus (08-21-2010), DaveDragon (08-25-2010), HERPHAPPY (08-21-2010), Icicle (08-22-2010), ilovemylizard (08-21-2010), Sliding Scales (08-21-2010), Snake18 (08-22-2010), Stargazer (08-21-2010), Tom (08-22-2010), tucuxi88 (08-22-2010), x_gilmore_x (08-22-2010) |
08-21-2010, 03:31 PM
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Regular Rattlebrat
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Re: abbott and costello
ROF LMAO!!!!
(Were you hiding around the corner taking notes when I got this thing...???)
Thanks m'dear, I needed that!!!
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08-21-2010, 05:33 PM
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RTB Aficionado
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Re: abbott and costello
So who's on first! 
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08-21-2010, 06:18 PM
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Resident Fruit Loop
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Re: abbott and costello
Sounds like me when I got my first computer....
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08-22-2010, 04:11 AM
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ms. anthropomorphist
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Re: abbott and costello
Quote:
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............
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that is the part that made me laugh the hardest.
__________________
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
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08-22-2010, 04:29 AM
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Regular Rattlebrat
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Re: abbott and costello
Quote:
Originally Posted by louise
that is the part that made me laugh the hardest.
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I remember wondering the same thing!  (that, and what have I gotten myself into???)
Don't get me wrong, I used a computer at work (before my early retirement) but not the way you do at home...& I only did certain things, no overall responsibility for it. (and when I got this one, I realized what an antique we'd been using!)
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08-22-2010, 04:38 AM
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Boas Rock
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Re: abbott and costello
That is one of the funniest joke I have read in a while and my wife is rolling on the floor right now.
Thanks for posting it.
Tom
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08-22-2010, 05:40 AM
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ms. anthropomorphist
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Re: abbott and costello
glad you guys enjoyed it.
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"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
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08-22-2010, 06:24 AM
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Re: abbott and costello
Ahhh...but the good old days. No I am not THAT old, but I remember seeing the "Who's on First" skit..which is a classic.
Who wrote the one that you posted Louise?
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08-22-2010, 07:27 AM
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Sammy's Loveable keeper
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Re: abbott and costello
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If all else fails, read the directions.
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leo's(RIP Scooter, Skipper RIP),Rat (RIP Lucy RIP), Boa (RIP Phoenix)
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08-22-2010, 07:39 AM
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Re: abbott and costello
Another classic comedian, back when they didn't need to cuss like a sailor, was Red Skeleton. Years ago you couldn't advertise hard booze on TV. The commercials were "live" at lot of times. This was especially true with the movie night, and when the commercial break came it would be the "movie host" selling a product of some sort. Well Red Skeleton did a skit where he pretended to be the "live" advertiser, selling booze...the hard stuff. Every time they came to a commercial break, he supposedly took a shot of booze. So by they end of the movie, he would be smashed. You'd have to see it, but it was hilarious. The Red Skeleton show ran for many years,and Red was a great guy. He ended each show with "...and may God Bless."
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08-22-2010, 11:35 AM
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ms. anthropomorphist
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Re: abbott and costello
red skeleton was great. i dont know who wrote what i posted, it was an email from a friend i got.
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"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
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08-22-2010, 10:20 PM
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Regular Rattlebrat
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Re: abbott and costello
Quote:
Originally Posted by louise
red skeleton was great. i dont know who wrote what i posted, it was an email from a friend i got.
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Shared internet wisdom...my favorite author! 
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08-22-2010, 10:27 PM
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Regular Rattlebrat
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Re: abbott and costello
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sliding Scales
.... Years ago you couldn't advertise hard booze on TV. The commercials were "live" at lot of times. This was especially true with the movie night, and when the commercial break came it would be the "movie host" selling a product of some sort. Well Red Skeleton did a skit where he pretended to be the "live" advertiser, selling booze...the hard stuff. Every time they came to a commercial break, he supposedly took a shot of booze. So by they end of the movie, he would be smashed. You'd have to see it, but it was hilarious......" |
That reminds me of the "I Love Lucy" skit where she is hired to promote a 'tonic' (that contains alcohol, as many actually did!) and gets more smashed with every commercial spoonful! The product (if memory serves me?) was called "Vitameatavegamin" (supposedly containing everything important to eat!) & she ended up drinking it out of the bottle...
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