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Stone cages
Today 08:55 AM
Today 09:47 AM
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Scarlett
12-05-2011 03:53 AM
 Last post by mykToday 09:30 AM
22 Replies, 293 Views
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07-18-2010, 11:39 AM
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ms. anthropomorphist
   
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broken lawn mower
The Broken Lawn Mower
Marriage is a relationship, in which one person is always right, and the other is usually the husband.
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me, that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the car, e-mail, always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
‘When you finish cutting the grass,’ I said, ‘you might as well sweep the driveway.’
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
__________________
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
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07-18-2010, 12:19 PM
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I am an RTB Addict !
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Re: broken lawn mower
kekeke
__________________
0.1 Corallus caninus
0.0.1 Corallus hortulanus
1.3 Boa Constrictor
1.0 Eunectes notaeus
1.0 Python molurus bivittatus
1.1 Python regius
1.0 Python curtus breitensteini
1.0 Morelia spilota
0.1 Varanus salvator
0.1 Acanthosaura capra
1.0 Hemitheconyx Caudicinctus
1.0 Morelia viridis
0.0.1 Pantherophus guttatus
0.0.2 Pituophis catenifer sayi
0.1 Rhacodactylus ciliatus
1.0 Dogus retardensis pitbulli 
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07-18-2010, 05:40 PM
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Sammy's Loveable keeper
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Re: broken lawn mower
__________________
If all else fails, read the directions.
0.1.0 BCI Sammy, 1.1.0 Royal Python Bonnie & Clyde, 0.0.1 Corn Snake Anakin, 0.1.0 JCP Leia
Fallen Pets
leo's(RIP Scooter, Skipper RIP),Rat (RIP Lucy RIP), Boa (RIP Phoenix)
America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She well knows that by enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standards of freedom. – John Quincy Adams (1821)
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07-19-2010, 12:24 AM
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ms. anthropomorphist
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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Re: broken lawn mower
at least he will walk again 
__________________
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
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07-19-2010, 12:52 AM
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Sammy's Loveable keeper
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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Re: broken lawn mower
__________________
If all else fails, read the directions.
0.1.0 BCI Sammy, 1.1.0 Royal Python Bonnie & Clyde, 0.0.1 Corn Snake Anakin, 0.1.0 JCP Leia
Fallen Pets
leo's(RIP Scooter, Skipper RIP),Rat (RIP Lucy RIP), Boa (RIP Phoenix)
America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She well knows that by enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standards of freedom. – John Quincy Adams (1821)
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07-19-2010, 01:03 AM
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Resident Fruit Loop
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Re: broken lawn mower
A Very Short Story:
Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
Woman yells out window, PIG!
Man yells out window, WITCH!
Man rounds next curve.
Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in
middle of road and dies.
Thought For the Day:
If men would just listen!
__________________
My boa could eat your honor student.
R.I.P The English language and the correct spelling of "definitely"
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07-19-2010, 01:08 AM
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ms. anthropomorphist
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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Posts: 23,878
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Re: broken lawn mower
Quote:
Originally Posted by Icicle
...But with a limp
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if i would have had the scissors and he did that he would be walking with prosthetics 
__________________
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
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The Following User Says Thank You to louise For This Useful Post:
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Railway Line Champion!
