» Site Navigation |
|
|
|
» Quick Moderation |
|
|
|
» Recent Threads |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
» Ads |
|
|
 |
05-26-2010, 03:58 PM
|
 |
ms. anthropomorphist
   
|
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: MI
Posts: 23,878
Points: 47,652, Level: 67 |
Level up: 51%, 698 Points needed |
Thanks: 5,405
Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,712 Posts
|
|
|
children
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
' DON'T ! '
'Don 't what ? '
Adam replied..
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said..
'Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '
' No Way ! '
'Yes way ! '
'Do NOT eat the fruit ! '
said God.
'Why ? '
'Because I am your Father and I said so ! '
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? '
God asked.
'Uh huh,'
Adam replied.
'Then why did you ? '
said the Father.
'I don't know,'
said Eve.
'She started it ! '
Adam said.
'Did not ! '
'Did too ! '
'DID NOT ! '
Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own
6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
__________________
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
|
|
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to louise For This Useful Post:
|
|
05-26-2010, 03:59 PM
|
|
ms. anthropomorphist
|
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: MI
Posts: 23,878
Points: 47,652, Level: 67 |
Level up: 51%, 698 Points needed |
Thanks: 5,405
Thanked 2,486 Times in 1,712 Posts
|
|
|
Re: children
Quote:
3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.
|
__________________
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened"-Anatole France
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
RIP Max, i love you
|
05-26-2010, 04:46 PM
|
 |
The Lizard King
|
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 666
Level up: 68%, 97 Points needed |
Thanks: 170
Thanked 169 Times in 163 Posts
|
|
|
Re: children
__________________
"Wanna see my snake" 
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to THORATIO For This Useful Post:
|
|
05-27-2010, 06:14 AM
|
 |
I am an RTB Addict !
|
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Fl
Posts: 1,025
Level up: 38%, 248 Points needed |
Thanks: 237
Thanked 654 Times in 384 Posts
|
|
|
Re: children
LOL love this and it totally made my day. My niece (2) and Autistic nephew (5) were insane tonight but this made me laugh and put things into perspective.
__________________
1.1 ball python (Ciaran and Ricochet)
0.1 Corn snake (Maizy Mae- Red)
0.3 Leopard Gecko ( Veyt- high yellow, Baby- unknown rescue, and Lexi- Hypo)
1.0 Mediterranean Day Gecko (Maddy)
0.1 Bearded Dragon (D'Agath)
0.0.3 Firebelly Toads
0.0.1 Southern Toad
0.0.1 Whites Tree Frog
      
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to kenyabloodstone For This Useful Post:
|
|
05-27-2010, 08:26 AM
|
 |
Sammy's Loveable keeper
|
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: SomePlace in the NW
Posts: 14,537
Points: 32,835, Level: 55 |
Level up: 81%, 215 Points needed |
Thanks: 4,459
Thanked 2,889 Times in 2,416 Posts
|
|
|
Re: children
__________________
If all else fails, read the directions.
0.1.0 BCI Sammy, 1.1.0 Royal Python Bonnie & Clyde, 0.0.1 Corn Snake Anakin, 0.1.0 JCP Leia
Fallen Pets
leo's(RIP Scooter, Skipper RIP),Rat (RIP Lucy RIP), Boa (RIP Phoenix)
America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She well knows that by enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standards of freedom. – John Quincy Adams (1821)
|
05-27-2010, 08:39 PM
|
 |
RTB Aficionado
|
|
|
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 961
Level up: 46%, 216 Points needed |
Thanks: 449
Thanked 219 Times in 190 Posts
|
|
|
Re: children
__________________
 "No im not a Jonas brother Im a grown up"
REPTILES
0.1 07 RC Pastel -Athena aka big momma-
1.0 09 salmon jungle -Zeus
0.1 hypo motley het albino stripe -Pandora-
1.0 snow  -Apollo-
1.0 guyana albino 50/50 -Hercules
0.1 sunglow het anery- Hera-
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Hypoboa1234 For This Useful Post:
|
|
05-29-2010, 09:11 PM
|
|
Sammy's Loveable keeper
|
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: SomePlace in the NW
Posts: 14,537
Points: 32,835, Level: 55 |
Level up: 81%, 215 Points needed |
Thanks: 4,459
Thanked 2,889 Times in 2,416 Posts
|
|
|
Re: children
OMG how true this is.
Thanks for the laugh(s)
__________________
If all else fails, read the directions.
0.1.0 BCI Sammy, 1.1.0 Royal Python Bonnie & Clyde, 0.0.1 Corn Snake Anakin, 0.1.0 JCP Leia
Fallen Pets
leo's(RIP Scooter, Skipper RIP),Rat (RIP Lucy RIP), Boa (RIP Phoenix)
America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She well knows that by enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standards of freedom. – John Quincy Adams (1821)
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Icicle For This Useful Post:
|
|
06-01-2010, 01:41 PM
|
|
Newbie to RedTailBoa.net
|
|
|
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 9
Level up: 9%, 91 Points needed |
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
|
|
|
Re: children
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
 Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
Railway Line Champion!
