Every woman's wish list

Tom · #1 (**permalink**) 04-06-2010, 02:28 AM

What I Want In A Man!
Original List:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

Send this to the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said: "Darling, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a
10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old girl. Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV but I'm sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old girl, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis!

Stargazer · #2 (**permalink**) 04-06-2010, 02:40 AM

Ha ha ha. The thing men love about older women is that they understand men very well. The thing men hate about older women is that they understand men very well.

chaos22120 · #3 (**permalink**) 04-06-2010, 02:57 AM

LOL I had to read this to my boyfriend and we both got a good laugh from it! Thanks for brighting up my day!

Caligula13 · #4 (**permalink**) 04-07-2010, 12:54 AM

i'm feelin you with the whole whole broke and young thing. guess i'll just have to sell some more blood....

BlackLava · #5 (**permalink**) 04-07-2010, 01:14 AM

OMG

that was a great laugh!! thanks for sharing

John · #6 (**permalink**) 04-07-2010, 03:46 AM

This is great insight, Tom. Since I'm almost 40, this means the probability of my success with women is getting better.

I don't really work steady, but I can nod my head, put the toilet seat down when asked to do so, and push lightweight chairs from one corner to another. And, if shaving more often will help cut down on ugliness, I can learn to do that too.

SUAD · #7 (**permalink**) 04-10-2010, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stargazer

Ha ha ha. The thing men love about older women is that they understand men very well. The thing men hate about older women is that they understand men very well.

Heh...that is soooooo not why men like older women.

Unless "understand men very well" was a euphemism for something else.

Wickedreptile · #8 (**permalink**) 04-10-2010, 02:10 PM

That was great Thanks for sharing I enjoyed it

louise · #9 (**permalink**) 04-10-2010, 02:14 PM

Quote:

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old girl, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.