How I bought my ball python.

Mike Schultz · #1 (**permalink**) 11-25-2009, 03:47 AM

I looked across the Manassas reptile expo floor and something caught my eye. I wasn't sure what it was, but it seemed to have been on the Outback Reptiles tables. I pushed past the throngs of people to make my way over. There sure are a lot of people at this show today, I contemplated as I slipped in and out of the crowd like I was playing Assasin's Creed. There may actually be more customers than vendors here this month!

Finally, I had arrived at Ian's tables. They stretched in a horseshoe shape from the front entrance, all the way around the back of Max Pet Supply, and back up to the other side of the entrance door. Larry Kenton kept the other vendors in mind, though, and left a couple tables in the middle for Adam W. And Rick K. To fight over.

I walked along the lizard section. There were Leaping lizards, Flying frogs, and Crazy colorful chameleons. But none of these were what caught my eye. The deals were so crazy sweet that I had to purchase a ten lot of savannah monitors on my way past, though.

As I kept going, I found the "Bargain Bazaar" section of the tables. How could I NOT buy 150 water bowls for $10? I picked up a few old aquariums to keep my savannahs in while I was there. One of the aquariums came with a free green iguana but I figured I could always pawn it off - er, rehome it - on craigslist the next day like everybody else who buys them. But even magical deals like these weren't what caught my attention.

Then there were the acrylic snake displays! From tricolor milksnakes to baby boa constrictors to amazon tree boas to high gold ball pythons and back to more milk snakes! The tricolors were vibrant, the boas were constrict-y, the amazons were evil and the ball pythons were so high-gold I was about to call MC Hammer so I could mail them in to Cash4Gold. I picked up a ten lot of these baby ball pythons for a rusty quarter I found in Larry's weave and then I kept on moving- these weren't what I was looking for either.

Finally- the ball python morphs! There had to be zillions of them. Baby Mojaves, Pastels, G-stripes, Ghosts, Black Pastels... The list was endless. I was about to pass out from sheer sensory overload due to too many amazing, investment quality morphs in one place when I noticed a single ball python standing out from the rest. There was a baby bumblebee that had to be the most bangin, bumblin bee I had ever laid eyes on. It stared at me through the acrylic, its little eyecaps glistening like a cheesy anime cartoon. I stared back at it while trying to hold back tears. I placed a single finger against the top of the display, and it curled its tail up, inverted his hemipene and placed it against the other side of the plastic. I swear I felt a pulse of electricity move through my finger, up my arm, and down my chest toward my nether regions.

"Ian!" I called out, almost breathless, "can you do me a better deal on this bumblebee since I made all these other sweet purchases at your tables?"

"No," he told me, "not on that one. But this smaller one over here I can knock 50 bucks off."

"Done!" I told him. A sense of relief washed over me. My journey had been long, hard, and expensive, and I had even been electrocuted by a snake's reproductive organs, but finally I had found what I was looking for.

And in that way, Mike purchased his bumblebee ball python.