software application upgrade??...funny read....

[captainmorgan]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the
product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors
all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing
7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I
can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!!!!! Thanks, A Troubled User.

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,
thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to
Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall,
delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
"Warnings - Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and
work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application Yes Dear to alleviate software augmentation.

Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire
section regarding 'General Partnership Faults' (GPFs). You must assume joint
responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their
cause.

You will also find that GPFs are cyclical. The best course of action is to
enter the command C:/APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:/YESDEAR because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Remember the system will run smoothly as long as you share the blame for all
GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You must,
however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause
the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only
way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional major
hardware.

WARNING!!!!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will
cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support


[addsig]

[Reticu-Lady]

oh, that's hilarious! Someone has too much time on his hands. [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif[/img]
[addsig]

[Tracy]

I use to be wife 1.0 and like being girlfriend 7.0 better... More advantages being girlfriend than wife... get a way with more than wife!!! [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
[addsig]

[telefrag]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

spawning child processes.

sounds like it needs to be Re-nice'd
[addsig]

[NYCSpeedcore]

I am currently using a great program called FTF. This program allows many of the benifit's explained in girlfriend 7.0 and wife 1.0 but is much less taxing on your system requirements. In fact this program uses up next to none of your resources as well as hers while still allowing both parties to benifit. This program allows both users to continue doing whatever each other user wants to do with no blame, guilt, or comitment. Personally at the moment it is the only program I can afford to use do to my lack of time and resources at this stage in my life. It can still be used after girlfriend 7.0 has been installed but is very hard to impliment under wife 1.0 without very significant losses. All in all this user gives it two thumbs up!


PS - FTF stands for "Friends that Fu*k" [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
[addsig]

[joerissa]

ROFL!!!!! That is hilarious [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif[/img] [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif[/img] [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif[/img]
[addsig]

[captainmorgan]

I know my wife's gonna hate me if she reads this but....NYC...I NEED THAT PROGRAM!!! I used to have it but lost it when I got wife 1.0. wife 1.0 attacked and killed it like it was a virus.
[addsig]

[NYCSpeedcore]

Hehe, I hope you have a few ice packs around [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img] ... On another note, what kind of crappy program does not come with an uninstall program? We had better not let mister Gates get wind of this... he may get a few ideas [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] !
[addsig]

[captainmorgan]

only unistall program for wife 1.0 is divorce 1.0 hence


<TABLE BORDER=0 ALIGN=CENTER WIDTH=85%><TR><TD><font class="pn-sub">Quote:</font><HR></TD></TR><TR><TD><FONT class="pn-sub"><BLOCKQUOTE> </BLOCKQUOTE></FONT></TD></TR><TR><TD><HR></TD></TR></TABLE>You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
&quot;Warnings - Alimony/Child Support.&quot; I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and
work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application Yes Dear to alleviate software augmentation.


[addsig]

ROFLMFAO!! HILARIOUS!
[addsig]