Your one stop reptile community

captainmorgan · #1 (**permalink**) 03-28-2002, 03:42 PM

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
answer.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that
married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.

Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't
work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just
say it!!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some
war flick where it doesn't really matter what the #### they're saying
anyway).

Check your oil.

It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

Anything we said 6 months or 6 years ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something
but not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
[addsig]

eddie · #2 (**permalink**) 03-28-2002, 03:50 PM

BWAHAHAHAHA!

TRUE! EVERY WORD! TRUE!

I can't wait to see how the Fema-Nazis are going to behave on this one!

Oops! Did I say Fema-Nazis? I meant the gender that needs to post this on the fridge, bathroom wall, desk at work, car dash and our fore heads, to remind them daily! [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif[/img]
[addsig]

Karen · #3 (**permalink**) 03-28-2002, 05:37 PM

I actually think its quite funny...I have one comment to make though. I go from long hair to short hair and back and forth all the time because I get bored with it. and its really funny cuz guys like long hair but then want to complain when it takes so long to fix it. hahaha
[addsig]

#4 (**permalink**) 03-28-2002, 05:53 PM

Ahhhh, the man's creed. Se how easily we (men) all agree.

Why don't you women get together and make a list? It'd be easier for everyone. [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img]
[addsig]

sasa · #5 (**permalink**) 03-28-2002, 06:05 PM

I have seen this before, along with one about males! Just wait until I find it!

funny [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
[addsig]

Countryboy · #6 (**permalink**) 03-28-2002, 06:34 PM

It's all true, but if only it were that simple.
[addsig]

Ti · #7 (**permalink**) 03-28-2002, 07:24 PM

Its true, Its ALL TRUE!

Luckily I found a woman (or she found me!) who understands all but a few of these things that make men, well, men! [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]
[addsig]

StopStaringAtMe · #8 (**permalink**) 03-28-2002, 09:51 PM

I agree with Karen. I grew up a major tomboy and I have always had more guys friends than girlfriends... So I'm used to all the things that make a man a man.... and what makes most guys think chicks don't drink? A couple of my guy friends made the mistake of betting me I couldn't drink them under the table lol
[addsig]

DianeOr · #9 (**permalink**) 03-29-2002, 06:32 AM

Well, Captain......You got my Attention....You don't have to unite against 'ALL' women! Some of us love 'men' stuff. [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_evil.gif[/img] Some of us enjoy car racing (did some together), football, Nascar (LOVED DE), beer, war movies, working on cars (restored one together), going to car shows and checking out the engines, sometimes point out the pretty girl, (for various reasons), he gets almost everything he wants, I don't want much, (makes it affordable that way). Etc, 'we' should just get along. [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif[/img] Give some, take some.... [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif[/img]
[addsig]

kogoz · #10 (**permalink**) 03-29-2002, 07:10 AM

you forgot this one. When we say nuhn dont dig to deep into it it can meen what ever you want it to. usually it means leave me alone i'm watching the football game.
[addsig]

txgirl266 · #11 (**permalink**) 03-29-2002, 07:43 AM

LMAO
thats funny but most of it is true, thats why I always say what I think, but sometimes that gets me in trouble too!
[addsig]

#12 (**permalink**) 04-07-2002, 10:27 PM

LMAO...
[addsig]

Jack_Daniels · #13 (**permalink**) 04-08-2002, 08:35 AM

StopStaringAtMe.. you lie..

Girls cant drink!.. Its the same scenario over and over again... first they show up...heh

Then, you start mixing them a drink... repeat.... repeat again etc...

Then, they start getting all loud, and really really hyper... then you mix'em another..

Then, they start getting clumsy, and act like their arms and heads weight 100 pounds (have to sling'em around kind of).... then you mix'em a few more...

Next thing you know they go out to to smoke a cigarette and pass out on the front deck in the freezing cold,...

Actually this one time me and my brother had some people over. Drinks got made and uh, "things" got smoked and this really really annoying girl named Brahwin... Im not making that up... got WAAAY past her limit and passed out on the couch and my bud chris was trying to feed her a sub roll so she would die. He thought hed be funny and held a glass of Jack Daniels up to her nose and told her to take a big sniff... Needless to say she puked all over the couch and the floor... I talked my brother into cleaning it up tho so its all good as far as Im concerned..

Now that I think about it.. I probably shouldnt hit the "submit" button... [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_cool.gif[/img]
[addsig]

XzyluM · #14 (**permalink**) 04-17-2002, 05:43 AM

Ah, I got some new hints from reading this. Especially when you ask your girl what's a matter, then she says nothing. It's not worth the hassel, so I'm going to start treating her like nothing's wrong . . . or maybe. [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img] And I got to agree, women can't drink!
[addsig]

RoyalRazer · #15 (**permalink**) 04-21-2002, 03:17 PM

I like my hair short! [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_razz.gif[/img]
[addsig]

Advertisement