like jokes

[Heather]

Ok there were 2 snakes siting at a bar one said to the other why do they measure us in inches & his buddy says because we don't have feet.

ok so this camel walks in to this coffee shop & asked the waitress for a cup of coffee with extra sugar & she asked him do you wont one hups or two.

ok So this grasshopper hops to a bar & the bar tender says we got a drink named afther you & the grasshopper says you got a drink named bob.

How do you like these jokes.
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[Seany]

I just flew in from chicago, and boy, are my arms tired! badaboom
Once I walked into a bar, #$%^&#$%^&#$%^&#$%^& that hurt...
*knock knock* hello? is this thing on?
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[Seany]

A mushroom walked into a bar and the bartender said "sorry, you'll have to leave. we don't serve your kind here." so the mushroom goes "why not? I'm a funguy"
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[Heather]

[img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif[/img] ok funny. I like the one about I flew in that was good. [img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif[/img]
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[Heather]

What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ?
The Lizard of Oz !

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ?
A chameleon on a tartan rug !

How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?
They sit eggsaminations !

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?
Reptiles !

What do you call a rich frog ?
A golf blooded reptile !

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth

What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ?
A boa constructor !

What's a snake's favourite food ?
Hiss Cakes !

Why do babies like cobras ?
Because they come with their own rattle !

Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ?
Because he had his own scales !

What do snakeswrite at the bottom of their letters ?
With Love and Hisses !

How can you tell if a snake is a baby ?
It has a rattle !

What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?
Thanks, I'll just have a sliver !

What is another word for a python ?
A mega-bite !

What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?
A boar constrictor !


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[bensnacks]

A duck walks into a bar ,waddles up to the bartender.
"have you got any lemons?"
"no we don't have lemons." says the bartender ,out waddles the duck.
5 mins later the ducks back "have you got any lemons?"
"no we don't have any lemons?"says the bartender, out go the the duck.
5 mins later the ducks back & you guessed it,"have you got any lemons?"
"NO! ,NO LEMONS & if you come in here askin' for lemons again I'LL NAIL YOUR LITTLE WEBBED
FEET TO THE FLOOR!!!"
"*QUAACK QUAACK QUAAK*" the duck flaps his way out the bar feathers flying ,
and all in a tizz.
5 mins later the ducks back "have you got any nails"
" No " says the bartender looking confused at the ducks change of tack "we don't have any nails."
"good "says the duck "then ,have you got any lemons?"
[img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif[/img]

_________________
L4L
"Peeple of zee wurl, relax!"-sailor the parrot.

[Heather]

HAHAHAHAHAHAH good one hay My uncl nows that one but the one he nos does not say lemons it says feed.
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[Bry]

As a child, I remember constantly running in circles. I asked my mom, "Mom, why am I running in circles?" She replied, "Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!" I never asked her again.

Bry
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[XzyluM]

[img]modules/Forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif[/img] Good jokes.
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