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85316
God, I start crying as soon as I started typing.
As y'all might know, I got two corns, Mr. Gosh and Lenore. Well, Lenore wasn't eating, so I put them in a 10g cage - I thought she was stressed in the smaller cage. I made the cage up real nice - deep bedding to burrow in, lots of hides, lots of climbs...
They were in there for about a week, and Cody wanted to see them. So, I got them out, we played with them for a while, and I put them back in. I guess I didn't put the lid down all the way (it's a snap-on lid), and I didn't know that could even reach the top of the cage.
God, I keep having to pausing because I can't see the monitor.
Anyway, I look in there the next night when I wake up, and I can't see them. So I lift up their hides, sift through the substrate, etc. That was the most horrible feeling I've ever had. I searched my entire room as best I could (I have boxes upon boxes of stuff stored in there), and I was terrified that they went down the heating duct. Never found them. But I figured that as long as I didn't see any bodies, I would believe that they were alive. Maybe hiding in one of my boxes, maybe found a warm spot in the basement. I kept putting pinkies out for them to eat if they were hungry, hoping one of them would disappear so I'd know someone was alive. None of them did.
Well, the day before yesterday, my dad yells at me to come upstairs. Pookey, the cat, had killed Mr Gosh. Of course, my dad didn't know I had the corns, so I just told him it was a garter snake. I gave him the best burial I could, given the frozen earth. I couldn't just toss him outside for the squirrels.
I haven't said anything before because I've felt so incredibly horrible. Everytime I think about it, I just keep thinking that it's my fault they're out, my fault he's dead, that I'm a horrible person for not being more careful, that they have a lifespan of 20 years and I had them for 3 weeks, I didn't get to see them grow up, didn't get to see them shed, didn't get to see Lenore eat and be all proud cause I did something right, I was just getting to know their distinctive personalities, that I let Tammy down because she sold me the snakes thinking I'd take care of them.
I had to stop again. I'm messing up my makeup.
Cody said I can get another pair of corns, whatever morphs I want, when we move out, but it won't be the same.
When do you stop crying? I've never lost a snake before, and I haven't had a pet die since 6th grade.
I only had the little things for 3 weeks, and I grew to love them so quickly.
[addsig]
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