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It is not an easy thing to do for most people. We raised our rats and had 3 pet rats. I loved them like pets but their babies were fair game. We had to let them grow because we needed medium to very large rats so I did the best I could not to get attached to those because I knew what was going to happen. My husband did all the killing of course glaring at me the whole time because I'm the one who took Pie to vet and had to look at those awful pictures. We also had to kill gerbils for a while because Pie decided he didn't want rats anymore and I used to have gerbils for pets growing up. Luckely he went back to rats after only killing two gerbils.
You are normal, perfectly normal feelings. If it came down to it though you would have done it, I'm sure of it. We do things for the lives of our pets that we would not otherwise do.
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